CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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