it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
