What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize