Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
