In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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