walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I DEMAND FORESKIN
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
