Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
