There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
