Just cropdusted the office
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
There are leaves in my underwear?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
