Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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