hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
