Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
