I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
