i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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