i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize