Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
