Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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