dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
