Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I came so hard my ears popped.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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