i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
being pregnant is like rehab
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
