The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Too much gin, very little bucket
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
