Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize