Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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