I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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