he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
