Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You made out with two different species that night
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
