i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
