I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
