My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
