Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
