I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
