Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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