Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
