Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
