The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
