This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Randomize
