you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
