I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
