I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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