So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
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drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
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I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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