So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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