i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
