Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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