Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
