I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he thought i was a dude.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
