Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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