Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
