Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
