I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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