i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
