How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
