you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
