I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
