it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize