dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
