I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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