i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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